Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Something New!

So, it has been quite a while since I have posted anything on here. Quick update:
The summer pretty much sucked. I worked at Lui’s Wed-Sun, then in Keene on Mondays, and had Tuesdays off. I had no summer fun, but got a nice surprise at the end of the summer: I was offered an RA position at my school. For those of you not in the know, I’m not going to be a nurse: I am a Resident Assistant in Monadnock Hall. It has been a challenge to say the least, but I am trying.
I am going to the counseling center on a weekly basis and back on my anti-depressants. The good kind that helps bump up the energy and doesn’t kill your sex drive. Not that I need that last feature, but one can hope, right?
There is a new crush in my life. Nerds 1 & 2 are things of the past, and I am now smitten with yet another young’un. Oh, he’s also on my staff. I’m pretty sure he knows I like him - if not, he’s completely stupid.
So, I’ve been thinking about how to run this blog. It lacks a theme, other than just “Beth’s Bitching again”, which really, not a good theme. I think it will mostly be just life as a college student - from a non-traditional point of view. Next entry will have more.
I’m afraid there’s not much else to report at the moment, but when I have time, there will be. Thanks for reading!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Reflections on my Freshman Year at KSC.

I also posted this on Facebook...
As I sit here at my desk, lamenting that this is the last week I have in my little room overlooking Appian Way into the library (prime creeper spot), I am reminiscing about my first year at Keene State College. It is not really appropriate to call it my first year of college, as I have had a year of college before. Perhaps best to refer to it as my first successful year at college. I am thinking about how far I have come, how hard I have worked, and how fulfilling an experience this has been. So, I thought I would share the highlights…

I began the year excited and terrified. Move-in day was filled with joy, excitement, nerves and me being stressed out as usual. My family and best friend helped me get my stuff in my room, walked around the campus a bit, bought my books, and said goodbye. Sigh. Now what? Well, like the good little student I am, I begin to read my text books after I finish unpacking. Oh, and of course, walk to Wal-Mart (first of MANY times) to get extra cables, etc. that I need to make my TV work. All set up? Great, let’s hunker down and read some textbooks. I go to my first floor meeting, which is a bit of a bust. Love my RA, but she is the most introverted RA I have ever seen in my life. Go to comedy show, see the first of many crushes I would get this year. A photographer. My crush on him will cool within the next week…

The next day, textbook reading, walking around, and New Student Convocation. We walked through the arches at Appian Way, and I will confess, there were tears in my eyes. Going back to college is a huge deal for me, ok?

Classes start, and I am terrified. I feel like I’ll be ok, though.

I attend my first History Club meeting, unsure of what to expect and fucking terrified. I try to hide it and be a little outgoing. It was at that meeting I met Michelle, soon to become a good friend and drinking buddy; Shauna, soon to be one of the best friends I have ever known; Heather, without whom I would completely lose my sanity; Sinead, one of the most amazing people I have ever met; Gregg, one of the coolest people I know (but I am still cooler than you!); and yeah. Him. The guy. The one I will obsess over for the majority of the year. Truthfully, it wasn’t until a few days later when I saw him in the DC in a Gettysburg T-Shirt that I realized he was the one – the major, ridiculous, intense unrequited love affair of the year. He was to be my freshman year crush. OK, y’all, his name is Alex. You know the one I mean.

I continue to acclimate myself to college life, meeting a few more people along the way (Carrie, Brittany, Marie, Lindsay, etc…), attend my first (and only) college party, the highlight of which was watching the bartender get a blowjob from his girlfriend and keeping a total straight face the whole time. Don’t wanna ever play poker with that dude…

Pumpkin Fest! I get really, really drunk and lament the fact that I didn’t have the guts to actually do something about my crush.

Halloween! Stalking with Shauna! Dressing Slutty! Chasing the wrong fucking guy halfway down Main Street! Good times, man…

I have a major freak out about an Astronomy test about mid-semester. I thought I failed. I got a C. I have become an overachieving nerd.

Val comes to visit! YAY!

I finish out the semester exhausted but elated. And anxiously checking my grades every day until they are finally posted and discover all my blood, sweat, tears and thoughts of suicide were completely worth it – STRAIGHT A’s! I went from being on academic probation 12 years before to being a straight-A student. :D

When I return, things are off and weird and I never do find my academic groove. But, I meet the amazing Kayla and the awesome Chris. Life is good.

Went to NYC with History Club, easily the highlight of the year for me. Nothin’ beats traveling on the school’s dime!

The rest of the semester zips by, and suddenly I realize what it is I want to do with my life. I want to be a writer. I want to be a film historian and write plays. I have finally found my goal in life, and it feels incredible. For the first time, I see something I created performed for an audience, and I cannot describe how amazing it feels.

It is almost the end. Just a few more days to go, and I will no longer be a perpetual freshman. I will be a college sophomore, something I have never been. I am happy to see the year end, but am sad as well, as I will miss the friends I have made this year, and am afraid I will lose them by not seeing them over the summer. I am already thinking ahead to next fall, and it will rock. I am unbelievably proud of myself, and grateful to have met the wonderful people I have met this year. I don’t know why they keep me around, other than I am occasionally amusing. I love y’all, and can’t wait to continue this journey with you.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Fuck you, yahoo!

My horoscope today:

If you are too busy to put someone else first now, then don't date until you can.
Start something new today -- even if it feels strange or off-putting. It's just one of those days when you really need to mix it up and ensure that you can still move in different directions if need be.

Well, I sorta started something new - growing out my hair from scratch! but really?! The first half? C'mon!!

Bald is Beautiful!

I have no hair. It be gone. Along with the mole I had on my forehead. Ooops... But yeah - it is 80+ degrees here. Perfect day to shave your head. Check out the pics...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What a difference a shower makes...

Now, I am in general a fan of water. I love being in water, near water, you name it. Well, I am a Cancer, afterall. I love to swim, to take baths, and usually to a lesser degree, take showers. Usually it's the end result of feeling clean, fresh and ready to start the day which makes me enjoy a shower. However, today I had the perfect shower. The water temp was, for once, perfect. It felt soooo good just to stand under the flow of water. I felt relaxed and did not want to get out of the shower, but since I live in a dorm, I knew I couldn't stay in there forever. Someone would get mad. And I don't want to make people mad right now. I am trying to keep my thoughts positive.
I think I am officially getting done with Nerd 2, or as I know like to call him Blasphemous Dipshit. Yeah. There was a weird exchange on Facebook. Also, methinks he participated in 420, which is an auto turn off for me. Sorry, guys. I know that makes me uncool or whatever, but really not a fan of recreational drug use. Call me lame, it is what it is. Doesn't mean I won't be friends with you if you do participate in such things, I just won't have sex with you.
I am sitting at the Creeper Counter awaiting the lovely Kayla, eating eggs benadict, tater tots and sausage patties. Not the best meal to eat when you're sick, but it is sooooo damn good. The only thing that would make this breakfast better would be watermelon. Mmmm...
OK, that's it for now. See, much better than the last one. Also, I swear, the next one will be video of some kind.

Another crappy day

It is yucky and gloomy out. I am sick. At least Kayla and I got our math project more or less done last night. Oh, and yeah. I fucking woke up at 5am. Gonna be a loooong-ass day. At least by waking up so early, I am more or less caught up on my TiVo.
I am ready for the semester to be over, but I will miss being on campus. I like it here. I am happy here. Home stresses me out. I love my family, but... yeah. I am a bad kid. My parents have done nothing but love and support me, and I get annoyed back. I suck. Aaaanywayy...
I am getting my head shaved for charity on Saturday. Huzzah!
OK,this is a lame entry, more interesting stuff to come, I swear. Off to start the day officially.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Grrr, Arrgh...

I have been one cranky bitch the last few days. My depression is manifesting itself as extreme bitchiness, and I don't like it. I take it out on my friends and family, and get pissy and whiny, and all I really want to do it curl up on my bed and have a good, long cry. Maybe when I get back to school tonight...
I had my way-too-young for me cush over for a movie and beer night, and alas, nothing happened. Literally. His roommate fucking came along. I love his roomie, but really? We needed a chaperone? BTW, I did confess my crush to him in NYC, and... crickets. OK, not crickets, but basically, yeah, he does not think of me like that. I tried to change his mind, but... Well, I am done. I am done trying to make guys feel things for me that aren't there. He knows it's a sure thing with me, if he is remotely interested, he would have said something by now. So, yeah. Over. Done. Me sad. I mean, I am sad about it, because no one likes any form of rejection, but I'm not about to fling myself off a building over it.
The semester is nearing a close, which means I have survived my first year of college. Huzzah!

More to come (eventually...) In the meantime, a couple of pictures that make me wicked happy...
1. Well, hello, Mr. Boreanaz...
2. Who knew Nathan Fillion has such a fantastic ass?